


you can dance in a hurricane, but only if you're standing in the eye

by be_brave13



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 5+1 Things, 6000 Years of Pining (Good Omens), 6000 Years of Slow Burn (Good Omens), Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Mhm., Non-Linear Narrative, POV Crowley (Good Omens), Quote: We're On Our Own Side (Good Omens), Quote: You go too fast for me Crowley (Good Omens), Songfic, also kinda technically, anyway!, is this even good? i can't tell anymore but i liked it so HERE YOU GO, no beta we die like M E N, oh that's right! existentialism and angst and i'm too tired to doubt myself (:, why do i always write at 3:00 am?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-12 00:42:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20162833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/be_brave13/pseuds/be_brave13
Summary: Aziraphale has, over the past six thousand years, become Crowley’s home. When Crowley feels bold and drunk, while they are alone, he shows this by taking off his glasses.Maybe this time he’ll understand what I won’t say,Crowley thinks as they ramble on.What he doesn’t know is that between his sentences, Aziraphale keeps glancing at his eyes. He thinks they’re beautiful and he wants to say so an extreme amount but keeps it tucked away inside himself.When Aziraphale says nothing, and they have to sober up, Crowley thinks what a foolish game love can be. Three thousand years of hints, almost-confessions, and grand gestures of affection, and Aziraphale still does not get it. It’s hopeless; he’s such afool–OR 5 times Crowley knew he loved Aziraphale and the 1 time he knew Aziraphale loved him back (romantically)





	you can dance in a hurricane, but only if you're standing in the eye

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inevitably_johnlocked](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inevitably_johnlocked/gifts).

> If you were wondering what this is, don't ask me. I don't know. I thought songfics were dead, then this appeared. Don't look at me.
> 
> How, I can tell you: watching GO, reading too much meta, listening to music, and being acquainted with inevitably-johnlocked's fancy for playlists was all it took. 
> 
> All based on the song [The Eye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl_eNu4NUVI) by Brandi Carlile.

**1.**

_It breaks my heart to see a dear old friend _

_Go down that worn out place again _

_Do you know the sound of a closing door?_

_ Have you heard that sound somewhere before? _

_Do you wonder if she knows you anymore? _

Crowley does not like it when Aziraphale goes to Heaven. When he comes back, something about him is always just a little bit off. When he has more data, Crowley categorizes it in increased stuttering and rambling, Aziraphale being visibly more anxious in fixing his clothes and his books, and being more vocal in his protests about their Arrangement. Whenever Aziraphale talks about Above, he gets a _look_ on his face.

It sends Crowley back millenia, to when he was still an angel. He hopes, desperately, that Aziraphale never will know the sound of God’s closing door. Crowley wonders if She even remembers him, sometimes. All the rest of the angels only seem to know him as a demon, so it doesn't seem too farfetched. 

That look Aziraphale gives belongs on Crowley's face. He hates seeing it where it doesn't belong. 

His angel is better than the lot of them. It would be preferable, Crowley thinks with spite, if Aziraphale never crossed paths with anyone from Above ever again.

**2.**

_I wrapped your love around me like a chain _

_But I never was afraid that it would die _

_You can dance in a hurricane _

_But only if you're standing in the eye_

Crowley fell in love. He wouldn’t ever tell anyone when it started, because he feels like the truth makes him look uncool. The slippery slope started in the garden, when Aziraphale yelled that he gave his sword away. Just gave it away, against orders, because he _cared_. But Crowley reached the bottom of the slope, finally was fully into the pit, in Rome, 41 AD.

Aziraphale used the words, “Can I tempt you” and Crowley was gone.

Yes, the angel could tempt him; in fact, Crowley had already succumbed to temptation and now he was stuck.

And sure, Crowley has doubts if Aziraphale will ever feel the same depth of romantic, all-consuming love for him. But he does gather, over the years, that Aziraphale does love him. Maybe platonically, maybe romantically (although he barely hopes to dream of that one).

Whatever it is, even if Aziraphale still needs the pretense of the Arrangement, it’s enough. It’s there and he can deny it all he wants but Crowley _knows_ it’s there and it won’t go away.

Then the Apocalypse comes like a hurricane. But whenever his angel is at his side, the winds slow; they stand together in its eye.

**3.**

_Where did you learn to walk? _

_Where did you learn to run_

_ Away from everything you love? _

_And did you think the bottle _

_Would ever ease your pain? _

_Did you think that love's a foolish game? _

_Did you find someone else to take the blame?_

Crowley yearns. He knows he “goes too fast” for Aziraphale but he can’t help himself. Whenever he tries to get rid of the pretense that the Arrangement offers, Aziraphale turns him down. Why can’t Aziraphale let himself have this? It’s been _their side_ for so long already, he just hasn’t realized that yet.

(Aziraphale has, over the past six thousand years, become Crowley’s home. When Crowley feels bold and drunk, while they are alone, he shows this by taking off his glasses. _Maybe this time he’ll understand what I won’t say_, Crowley hopes as they ramble on.

What he doesn’t know is that between his sentences, Aziraphale keeps glancing at his eyes. He thinks they’re beautiful and he wants to say so an extreme amount but keeps it tucked away inside himself.

When Aziraphale says nothing, and they have to sober up, Crowley thinks what a foolish game love can be. Three thousand years of hints, almost-confessions, and grand gestures of affection, and Aziraphale still does not get it. It’s hopeless; he’s such a _fool_–)

Later, when Crowley threatens to leave to Alpha Centauri by himself, he knows that he’s lying. He’d never leave his angel, his _home_ behind to be obliterated like that. Because then, it’d be his fault for not doing something. He decided he’d protect Aziraphale as soon as he knew he’d fallen in love, and he isn’t going to let the blame for the end of the earth and his longest standing best-quality relationship with another sentient rest on his shoulders.

**4.**

_I wrapped your love around me like a chain _

_But I never was afraid that it would die _

_You can dance in a hurricane _

_But only if you're standing in the eye _

_You can dance in a hurricane _

_But only if you're standing in the eye_

“I don’t even like you!” Aziraphale shouts at him.

A thousand different moments flash through Crowley’s head in a second. Each of them he remembers with fierce clarity.

“You do,” he says in return. There’s nothing else to it. Crowley loves Aziraphale (fully, deeply), and Aziraphale loves Crowley (platonically or otherwise).

When Crowley thinks Aziraphale is dead, his precious bookshop burned and his presence gone, Crowley goes to get sloshed. When he’s far down the path of drunk, he comes up with an idea.

When they are together, he thinks, just them eating a spot of lunch or drinking vintage wine, everything else goes away. Above and Below, the wind and the rain, Apocalypse and humanity, it is all gone and all that exists are the two of them.

**5.**

_I am a sturdy soul _

_And there ain't no shame _

_In lying down in the bed you made _

_Can you fight the urge to run for another day? _

_You might make it further if you learn to stay _

Crowley is one of the Fallen. He still thinks he didn’t deserve it. All he did was ask questions, and really, how is anyone supposed to know anything if they can’t ask questions? How is anything supposed to improve if the processes always stay the same? All the guesswork aside, he still ended up sauntering vaguely downward, thank you very much.

But Crowley does not want Aziraphale to Fall.

He’ll accept his lot, but he never wants his angel to know how it feels to have God’s love, her Grace, stripped out of him. He never wants Aziraphale to forget the innate feeling of love that warms his very blood, never wants him to know how it feels to be cast out of Heaven and to fall into the pit for the first time. Aziraphale is an angel, the best angel, the only angel worth knowing.

That being said, Crowley wishes he _knew_. He doesn't want to cause any pain; he will wait as long as it takes, but Crowley cannot wait to dine in the Ritz, have a picnic, and know that he and Aziraphale are traveling at the same exact speed. Nobody is going too fast or slow for anyone. In fact, it might be better for them not to move at all.

They might make it further if they choose to _stay_.

**+1.**

_I wrapped your love around me like a chain _

_But I never was afraid that it would die _

_You can dance in a hurricane _

_But only if you're standing in the eye _

_You can dance in a hurricane _

_But only if you're standing in the eye_

Crowley stops time. As they stand in the sands with the Antichrist, he feels the Apocalypse still swirling around them. He hasn’t used this particular power in millenia, and the price of it settles heavy across his limbs.

Nonetheless, they stand in the eye of the storm and recoup until they grasp hands: Aziraphale with his sword aflame and Crowley with his sunglasses back on and Adam with his belief and utter humanity draped around him like a cloak. There is no possible way for them to lose now, not when they finally have a chance of winning.

When everything is said and done, and they toast to the world, Crowley finally knows.

“To the world,” he says, and means his world, his home, his angel.

“To the world,” Aziraphale says back, and Crowley hears it for the first time: _To my world, to my home, to my dear demon Crowley._

They’re both saying “I love you,” and they’re eating at the Ritz. They have learned to stay, and instead of standing in the eye they have diffused the storm entirely. Crowley _is_ nice deep down, and Aziraphale _is_ a bit of a bastard. He’s glad they are.

This– no, _they_– never would have worked otherwise.

They look at each other, and in that moment he knows they’re on the same page.

Content, Crowley smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Crowley, two weeks after the Apocalypse-that-wasn't, three hours into their weekly dinner at the Ritz after five glasses of champagne: Do you remember before all the mess started and we were drunk off the rails talking about dolphins????? Yeahhhhh haha so I took of my sunglasses, 'member, angel???? But it wasn't because I couldn't see. I just, just wanted you to know that you're like home to me. Feel so safe 'round you.
> 
> Aziraphale, also quite sloshed and very touched, on the verge of tears: My dear Crowley. Oh you're just so nice, so nice and not even deep down; do you know how much I wanted to say something? I love your eyes. Oh they're gorgeous, absolutely stunning and I won't hear a word otherwise.
> 
> Crowley, weakly, wondering if this is what discorporation feels like: _mmm okay_
> 
> SOURCES:  
[This](https://greenbergsays.tumblr.com/post/186115655913/you-did-ittt-omg-i-was-absolutely-convinced) beautiful thing about Ineffable Husbands being cannon, because it's TRUE and they should SAY IT  
[This](https://theladyzephyr.tumblr.com/post/185737660952/folks-let-me-talk-about-crowley-and-sunglasses) AWESOME meta about Crowley and his sunglasses. It makes me emo just thinking about it.  
[This](https://marveliciousfanace.tumblr.com/post/184917377705/so-ive-been-thinking-on-it-and-likecontacts) pure af post about Crowley and contacts that inspired the above end tag  
And, of course, the [Ineffable Playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkgusaT12hu5WtBX-bMoj9t7l1wrRGMOG)


End file.
